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Protecting Your Vanilla Identity

Oh the masks we wear! We don them daily to protect ourselves from a multitude of threats. We hide behind them when we don’t want to be seen. We reveal ourselves through them when we need to express ourselves with anonymity.  We use them in the BDSM community to protect our careers and our families.

One of the risks of participating in BDSM is being associated with it. People will question your motivations. You might be asked if you’re being abused or even accused of abuse. Bitter people could use it against you. You could even lose custody of your children or be convicted of a crime. While attitudes are definitely changing toward BDSM and those who practice it, not everyone will be so open-minded and the legal system is lagging behind. Because of these risks, many in the BDSM community use a pseudonym to maintain anonymity.

It isn’t all bad though. Using a pseudonym can be very freeing because it allows you to express yourself in ways you might not otherwise attempt.

Using a pseudonym on social media grants you access to an endless community of people to learn from and talk with. While there is a lively BDSM community out there in the real world, it isn’t accessible to everyone and it can be really scary if you’re new to it. The online community is vast and easily accessible. A wealth of knowledge lay at you fingertips. You can open doors to things you may not have known were there, such as local groups, real people, and so much more. It’s thrilling and satisfying to be able to connect with others about something as wonderful as this and pseudonyms keep mom from stumbling across naughty things in your feed.

These masks are not ones we hide behind; they free us to express ourselves in ways we never could with our vanilla selves. Pseudonyms, literal masks, and personas allow us to live in some form as we truly are.

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